MONKEY SHINES
directed by "Night Of The Living Dead" George Romero
Allan is a sporty type of guy. He loves to jog with a backpack filled with 6 house bricks!. Allan gets hit by a truck on one of his brick jogging outings, turning him into a quadriplegic. So a nanny and her budgie, a genetically enhanced small monkey and a girl friend come into Alan's life.

Allan connects with the monkey you could probably say he learned to love it and the monkey returned that love and expressed her love with hugs. But Allan does not get on with the nanny and her little green budgerigar. Allan and the nanny get into an argument.

Nanny- "just who is this we/you are talking about"
Allan- "me and Ala" (the monkey)
Nanny- "that's what I thought you meant. Its unnatural that monkey is just a dirty filthy sneaky little beast."

After the nasty little quarrel the nanny leaves the room. Soon after her little budgie jumps on Alan's head and starts to peck Alan's eyes. Alan gets really scared and yelps for help, The nanny eventually comes to Allan's rescue.

Budgies are really threatening in horror movies and this scene was particularly scary. If Hitchcocks "The Birds" is ever remade it would be a great idea to feature budgies and seagulls working in tandem. The monkey now transformed into a man loving psycho-monkey decides to kill the budgie. This is just the start of her killing hijinks. She takes Allan's enemies and his loved one's. The hijinks climax with the monkey knocking Alan's girl friend out and threatening to finish her. Alan thinks quickly and with soft words coaxes the monkey up for a cuddle. When Ala's neck comes within biting distance, Allan pounces, piercing the monkey's neck with his pearly white teeth then swinging her shoulder to shoulder untill the beast is put to rest. There is a cameo for what I think is an (I.B.M A.T) in a couple of the laboratories...

©orion

PRESUMED INOCENT
Harrison Ford stars as Rusty and thank the gods he nails his 'slightly grumpy old man' signature performance once again. Rusty a good cop discovers quote "the sword of justice is double-edged" end quote.

Rusty is framed for murdering his lover. To help him out of his pickle he only has his own good cop instincts, a lawyer named Raul Julia and his wife Bonnie (who he had recently cheated on).

Brian Dennehy also turns up in the script. I have not come across Brian since his role as kind alien leader in "Cocoon" (a story about a whole lot of old men with a whole lot of spunk). Brian had put a considerable amount of pounds on since Cocoon and the director was obviously struggling to get all of Brian into frame and skilfully used a lot of wide shots. I think I recall reading an article soon after Cocoon's release that Brian had a few too many 'vodka and raspberries' after wrapping up the filming of Cocoon. Later on that night he mistook one of the Cocoons on the set as a giant chocolate brownie and proceeded to eat it whole. This may explain Brian ballooning out. I have found an alternative theory for Brian's ballooning on a conspiracy theory web site. It claims that Brian is in-fact an alien and that a cocoon is in-fact gestating in his stomach. The web site did not indicate the length of the gestation period. It is puzzling as to how Brian was impregnated and how the cocoon will be delivered. I believe a Caesarean section may be needed. An I.B.M ps/2 gets a cameo!

©warner brothers

GET A LIFE
Get a life is a educational video for asthma sufferers, friends and family. It states in Australia a blue or grey puffer is used during a asthma attack. Brown puffers are used for prevention do not over medicate and do not hesitate to ring an ambulance in the case of a bad attack.

Joel Quarterman from the band "Eskimo Joe" and Mat Shirvington (Australian sprinter) contribute with their stories of living with asthma.

But the crux of the piece is a reinactment of a asthma attack that Zoe experienced. Before entering the arcade Zoe and her friend Elisha have a little quarrel. Elisha berates Zoe for smoking and not bringing along her puffer. Zoe ends the squabble unkindly telling Elisha to "get a life Elish, what are you my mother or something I wana play Daytona". Daytona over excites Elisha and she receives a whopper of an asthma attack. With no blue puffer things look dire for Zoe however a saviour is found a kind elderly lady she rustles a puffer up and saves the day. Daytona gets a great cameo After Burner and Silent scope also pop up.

The movie is a lot better than a sharp microwave cookery video I watched earlier this week.