THE POWER WITHIN
The cover of the V.H.S release says 'The power within' is "In the tradition of Stephen King's 'Dead Zone'. But what it should say is "This is a rejected T.V pilot produced before Stephen King's 'The Dead Zone'".

Chris Darrow is a 'freaky aeroplane stuntman/show-off' who gets hit by lightning and is then granted the power of 'electrical shock wave projection from the tips of his fingers'. He is taken under the wing of his father Tom Darrow a 'bossy, Irving Kristol neoconservative type general'. Tom's smart and sexy military doctor Joanne Miller works on Chris and finds a method for Chris controlling his 'finger powers' by grafting a watch too his wrist. It is not made clear what brand of watch she used but I suggest if you graft a watch directly on to flesh you use a watch of good quality perhaps an Ansonia or an OMEGA. The surgery is a success but it is discovered that Chris only has a limited amount of 'finger power' he must regularly recharge his power in the military lab or he will die. When Joanne explains this hard fact to Chris he throws a bit of a tantrum. He is concerned that the recharge process will be a hindrance when romancing the fairer sex he said "What if I'm with somebody I really love hay? I get up and say excuse me I have got to get my battery charged?" I have to say I fully agreed with Chris I guess it would destroy the ambience of an encounter, he will just have to find some one that can dismiss his eccentricities and focus on his good points.

Some bad people kidnap Chris's doctor they think she has developed a scientific 'fountain of youth' and want to steal it. So Chris chases them down and saves her using the 'power of finger'. After the adventure he agrees to help the military with his fingers on a freelance basis so he can continue with his 'aeroplane stuntman antics' this was a great premise for a T.V show unfortunately it wasn't to be.

There is a computer cameo in general Tom's office Chris uses his fingers on a very early computer that I can not identify. Usually Chris travels using his plane but occasionally he hitches a ride in a 'NASA helicopter' amazingly it is painted 'Green and yellow' the colours of the 'Australian one day cricket side' this is a great departure from the standard black and white colours usually used. I contacted Dick Chaney on his Blackberry requesting that "all of NASA's Space shuttles be painted 'Green and Yellow' and that the paint would help bind the heat shield tiles!". I did not receive a response, Dick Chaney is a dick head.

THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT
There is a lot of talk that this movie is make-believe but I can confirm that all the movies content is fact. Two rooting tooting navy guys, David and Jimmy take part in an experiment on a U.S ship during the 'second world war'. It was hoped the experiment would shield the ship from enemy radar, instead it sucked the ship into a vortex. The name of the scientist behind the experiment was Doctor Longstreet, he is one of those obsessive intellectual types and he repeats the experiment again in the 1980's. David and Jimmy are transported from their ship to the 1980's, the 80's seem wild to David and Jimmy. Punk rockers and naked ladies in monster movies weren't the norm where they came from. The hapless couple stumble into a small roadside cafe, Jim's hands start to glow red and then he sprouts an electrical charge (so he decides to try on a tight red lycra suit and become a super hero: no he didn't only tricking). The electrical charge Jimmy gave off actually destroys two arcade games - 'Lunar Lander' and 'Battlezone'. Jimmy is not very happy about the incident and the owner of the cafe gets really pissy, he tells Jimmy that he thinks he is a "crazy son of a bitch" and to "come back hear boy". David and Jimmy have to get away quick so they hijack Allison's car and Allison is drawn into Jimmy and David's plight. Allison likes to ware a blue knitted jumper, perhaps she knitted it herself. The jumper is very becoming and I think it is the reason that David took a fancy to Allison. Jimmy continues to suffer from electrical red glowing attacks, at the height of one of these attacks he disappears completely. Meanwhile a giant vortex is sucking in whole towns and it just won't stop sucking, it becomes apparent that David must enter this vortex to block it up, so that's what he does. David saves the world but does he get the girl? You will have to watch the movie and find out.

There are great cameos for 'Battlezone' and 'Lunar Lander', a 'C-64' and an add for the 'DIGITAL rainbow' computer pops up. I love 'DIGITAL rainbows' because they are big chunky computers with big keyboards and cute little monitors.

©new world pictures

COCOON THE RETURN
It must be a nightmare for 'Cocoon movie producers' to select a cast for a movie. The majority of the actors are past it and could die at any moment. Maybe if an actor died while shooting the director could just work it into the story line. I can not confirm that the director of the 'The Crow' was involved at all with the Cocoon movies. But I am strongly suggesting that in any future cocoon movies he should be. I struggled watching the Cocoon movies. I mused that only 'old people' could fully comprehend all of the treacle in the 'Cocoon' movie franchise. So I asked my Nana if she "got Cocoon" and she started crapping on about the life cycle of the butterfly. So I gave her a cup of tea and slipped in a spoon full of Mogodon. She soon sat down and fell into a deep sleep. Later she told me she had a dream about purple and green coloured spiders and licorice.

'Cocoon The Return' is very predictable. I spent the last part of the movie fairly sure that the 'alien chick' would stay on earth with Steve Gutenberg. Fairly sure that some of the old fogeys would stay on earth. But simultaneously I was thinking where in the name of fu*k is Brian Dennehy or as I like to call him 'the Brize'. The Brize finally materialised only briefly around about 40 seconds. But those 40 seconds were pure silver screen gold.

SPACE MUTINY
The movie is set upon a space ship named the Southern Star. The ships commander has a large white curly beard, the commanders daughter Lea falls in love with Dave Rider a guy with big muscles. My sister has told me that men with big muscles have little doodles. However lea seemed quite satisfied when David through the leg over on the floor of the ships green house.

The ships bridge is equipped with what appears to be 386 or 486 pc clones with 5 1/4 drives. This leads me to believe that in the future a method for enhancing 486 chips is developed perhaps injecting them with a performance enhancing drug is developed thus justifying there use on star ships. Hula Hoops also make a come back in the movie, apparently it is the trend to bring them along with you on outings to the ships Night Clubs. Lea really had the hula moves if you know what I mean.

Lea and Dave team up to save the ship from mutineers who have teamed up with pesky pirates. In one scene the couple are hot on the tail of a mutineer who is escaping in one of the ships oversized go carts. Most hunky tough guys in movies would just jump in there own oversized cart and pursue the mutineer with hunky tough guy vigour. But not Dave Rider he stops to put on a crash helmet (he really is cool under pressure). Lea and Dave Rider prevail over the mutineers and Lea's curly white bearded dad regains full control of the ship.